The Christian Family
by Dr. Phil Stringer (Florida)
"And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in
thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and
shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou
walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest
up." (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)
* * *
THE CONCEPT OF FAMILY IN AMERICAN HISTORY
Much of America's historic Christian culture stems from the fact that
the Biblical model for the home was the standard for American
families. Husbands and fathers had specific spiritual, social and
financial obligations and responsibilities. They also had the
necessary authority and respect, Biblically, culturally, and legally to
carry out those responsibilities. The earliest situation comedies
(sit-coms) showed -- in the 1950's and early 1960's (the first TV
generation) -- a different role for husbands and fathers than is seen
today on TV (or in real life) in many homes. Wives and mothers had
specific spheres on which to focus. Mothers of young children were
specifically thought of as "stay-at-home" mothers. This
ideal was reflected in early TV shows such as "I love Lucy,"
"The Dick Van Dyke Show," "Leave It To
Beaver," and "Ozzie and Harriet." These all
reflected the common family structure of the 1950's.
Children were not considered little adults. They were recognized
as immature in their thought processes as well as physically
immature. They were clearly the responsibility of their
parents. Their parents were just as responsible for the
development of the character of their children as they were for their
physical development. Parents had rights, and the government was
not even in the picture (except for public education). This
scenario was on television as well as in real life.
Many have taken for granted both the significance and the origin of
this approach to family. In most cultures, men are dominant, and
women and children have the status of property. In the historic
Christian culture of America, men and women have equal worth though they
play different roles. When this image of father is neglected or
absent, social development is challenged, and there is a tendency to
ignore the concepts of justice and right and wrong. Both images
together help to form the moral conscience of the child and provide
goals, self-government, and moral standards.
Simply put, God made men and women different for good reasons.
His ideal assigns one man and one woman to each other and gives each
child a unique man and woman for the development of that child.
When society tries to take the role of the parent, it does not
provide more and better resources for the child; it robs the child of
the roles of mother and father in his or her life.
THE BIBLE MODEL FOR THE HOME
The Biblical perspective on the home is simple and often
repeated. A husband is expected to provide his wife and children
spiritual leadership, physical sustenance, and protection. A wife is
expected to follow her husband's leadership and provide him with
emotional support. Ephesians 5:22-33 reads:
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the
Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the
head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the
wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water
by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not
having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy
and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He
that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and
cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his
bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave this father and mother,
and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ
and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love
his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her
husband.
The basic roles of husband and wife are also described in I Peter
3:1-7:
1 Likewise, ye wives, be
in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they
also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled
with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning
of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of
apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that
which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet
spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also,
who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their
own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose
daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any
amazement.
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to
knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as
being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not
hindered.
The Bible also communicates to parents that their care for their
children is the key to their future happiness. The Book of
Proverbs in particular gives much counsel regarding the family:
• Proverbs 10:1 says, "The proverbs of Solomon. A wise
son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of
his mother."
• Proverbs 10:5, "He that gathereth in summer is a wise
son: but he that sleepeth in harvest is a son that causeth
shame."
• Proverbs 15:20, "A wise son maketh a glad father: but a
foolish man despiseth his mother."
• Proverbs 19:13, "A foolish son is the calamity of his
father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual
dropping."
• Proverbs 23:24-25, "The father of the righteous shall greatly
rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of
him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall
rejoice."
• Proverbs 28:7, "Whoso keepeth the law is a wise son: but he
that is a companion of riotous men shameth his father."
The greatest investment that parents can make in their own future is
the investment they make in developing the character of their children.
PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES
The principle laid down in the many passages that describe the
responsibilities of parents in character development may be summarized
in these four statements:
• Parents must properly teach and train their children.
• Parents must correct their children when they are wrong.
• Parents must discipline their children (with a rod) when
correction does not work.
• Parents need to treat their children with love and respect
(not provoking them to wrath).
The following passages teach one or more of these principles:
• Deuteronomy 6:6-7. "And these words, which I command thee
this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently
unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house,
and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and
when thou risest up."
• Proverbs 3:12, "for whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even
as a father the son in whom he delighteth."
• Proverbs 13:24, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but
he that loveth him chastenenth him betimes."
• Proverbs 19:18, "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let
not thy soul spare for his crying."
• Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and
when he is old, he will not depart from it."
• Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of
a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from
him."
• Proverbs 23:13-14, "Withhold not correction from the child:
for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from
hell."
• Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child
left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
• Ephesians 5:4, "Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor
jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks."
• Colossians 3:21, "Fathers, provoke not your children to
anger, lest they be discouraged."
RESPONSIBILITIES OF CHILDREN
Bible principles about the responsibilities of children to parents
can be summed up this way:
• Children should listen to their parents.
• Children (while still dependent upon their parents) should obey
their parents.
• Children should honor their parents.
One or more of these principles is in each of the following passages:
• Exodus 20:12, "Honour thy father and they mother: that thy
days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth
thee."
• Proverbs 1:8-9, "My son, hear the instruction of thy father,
and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an
ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck."
• Proverbs 4:1, "Hear, ye children, the instruction of a
father, and attend to know understanding."
• Proverbs 4:10, "Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings;
and the years of thy life shall be many."
• Proverbs 6:20, "My son, keep thy father's commandment, and
forsake not the law of thy mother."
• Proverbs 13:1, "A wise son heareth his father's
instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke."
• Proverbs 23:22, "Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and
despise not thy mother when she is old."
• Ephesians 6:1-3, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord:
for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first
commandment with promise. That it may be well with thee, and thou
mayest live long on the earth."
• Colossians 3:20, "Children, obey your parents in all
things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."
During the 30 year Culture War against historic Christianity, nothing
has been under any more furious attack than the Christian concept of the
family. The new paganism despises the Biblical roles of husband,
wife, father, and mother. They want to redefine the nature of
children and teens. They want to replace Christian families with
nurturing communities (collectivism and big government).
Nothing can change the fact that God's pattern for the home is
effective. The anti-Christian concept of the family just does not
work. Children grow up without the proper social
development. Homes become a never-ending competition for
control The ability to manipulate replaces precise Biblical
standards. Confusion exists instead of focus.
God's ways work!
Dr. Phil Stringer is Executive Vice President at
Landmark Baptist College, Haines City, Florida.
